its 11.

eyes hurt,
i popped a piece of chocolate in my mouth,
it melts ,
i close my eyes..

i think i need to read a book.

note to self,
bring chocolate around when having period.
keeps you happy,
and at least the whole world wont hate you when you're psm-ing.

• period pain and period.
• assignment due today at 2 pm, without notes of words limitations,marks.
  
• lights decided to die on me at 3 am in the morning, scaring the shit out of me,
  flashbacks of stories of the shutter and the ghost game gideon played in my room
  runs wild in my mind .fuck.
  
• cramps, coffee breath
• noisy and heating up laptop
• unruly hair and dried up lips, not sexy.
• bunch of morons as classmates.
• very uncomfortable leather chair strategically placed next to fucking comfy bed...
  looks sooo inviting...
• very very messy room

 add all this for the perfect recipe for an extremely grumpy, irate, won't stop swearing jessie.

good morning.

superficial brunette with boobies

what is your current obsession?

cereal,chocolate milk,fighting/bickering over the phone with gideon -_-

What is your weirdest obsession?

fighting non stop 

What are you wearing today?

hot pink topshop tee,shorts

Why is today special?

nothing is special bout today

What would you like to learn to do?

how to shut up

What’s for dinner today?

pizza

What’s the last thing you bought?

shades

What are you listening to right now?

feist,css

What is your favourite weather?

sunny when i am outside,rainy when i am sleeping

What is your most challenging goal right now?

not to ruin things which are meant to be just ok

What do you think about the person who tagged you?

she is sweet,

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

new york, a loft in new york.

Favorite vacation spot?

new york

What are you currently reading?

archies comics

What would you like to get rid of?

my insecurities please

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

new york

Which language do you want to learn?

korean and french

What did you dream of last night?

fights,guys,make out sessions,

Who do you want to meet in person?

agyness deyn and clareen.

One thing that you would snitch out of someone’s closet, with no regrets?

owhhhh those ysl booties from the olsens!

What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your closet?

my fav combo to be exact, leggings and white tees

What is your dream job?

ultimate dream?having a job which doesnt feel like a job, but a dream instead :)

Personal aspirations at the moment?

get out of this college and go to another better college

Your style is influenced by?

fashion blogs,haida,music,models,ciggies

in these 2 days, i:

• listened to too much of css, going a bit jumpy haha. i need a beer!
• resisted the urge to get malboro lights
  
• bought new shades, only to remember haida darling has the same one  LOL
  
• tried on maxi dresses, me like, me like, thanks pa, ma for your tall genes.
• jumped around my room too much.
• got so bloody mad at some people.
• bang my phone around the room 
• read too much of fashion blogs... not a good thing, i wanna shopppp
• met naya again!! :)
• watched he's just not that into you ( with kingsley :) ) only to be utterly depressed
  cause it just made me terasa and depressed for most girls out there
• had too much cereal. lol
• re watched ghostworld,garden state, and the devil wears prada. movie therapy :D
• was supposed to go clubbing,instead stoned at murnis, being checked out and checking out
  cute smiley boys... yummy.
• having ppl to belanja beers is always nice :D. thanks sayang :)
  
• oh, and i am in love. beerrrsssss
  
  

that was my summed up 2 days. 
how was yours ?

you're defo off the hook 

wake up, online, have some cereal, smoke, online, sleep for a bit, online, sleep, online.

hit "repeat."

let me capture one perfect day where you're in it, and i shall press repeat forever.

scars.

stars.
cars.

scars,
run my fingers across them,
i feel the skin,

tears starts to fall.

scars,
dried up wounds,
dried up tears,
a cold, numb heart.

scars,
from a fall in the park,
a tale of broken dreams,
an afternoon spent crying under the duvet.

scars,
tales of how one lived life and bled,
tales of how one fell and stood up again,
uplifting tales that happens to those full with hope.

scars,
every part of my heart is filled with them,
show me yours,

get a drink

and i will tell you mine.

the difference between me and the other vaginas out there. LOL

i look around my room
its in a complete mess

i smile

rub my eyes a bit

lie down on my bed

stare at the ceiling

i know i know i know

i am not those type of girls

i am rude, love rude jokes , swears all the time

i smoke, i dont smile much

never friendly
burp way too loud,
i cut my own tees and own hair,

i hate top 40s, i laugh too loud,
i give too much cock stares haha

so different from every other nice girls out there

at least i have nice lips and eyes right
maybe sometimes i use vanilla i would smell nicer 

lol who the fuck am i kidding

boys

they will choose those girls any day over me man

even if i changed

bye boy, 

i know you're straying..

it was nice to have loved you

in case, you're wondering.. the extremely uplifting, orgasmic , amazing song is "wake up"
by one my fave bands , arcade fire :D.

cant wait :)

my brother and sister came in and terrorize my room for a while

we all curled up on my bed watching charlie the unicorn 3

and bits of mean girls

my brother who was sitting next to me

pinched and bit my face

hahahahaha

setan tul

i love hanging out with them

even though they insult me a lot -_-

i am so bored

i went down earlier to watch some tv

i miss the old shows

like rugrats,kenan and kel (orange soda!!), all that , as told by ginger, johnny bravo, dexter,
the wild thornberries and owh pepper anne. 
sigh remembered how it used to be like

just marathons of cartoons with my bro and sis.

i am really bored.

i was just turning around 

on my bed

playing with my hair...
listening to sufjan steven's to be alone with you
very depressing i tell you 

gahhh.
so i switched to chicago, also by him.

better.

i wanna watch gigantic, there's zooey in it,
anything with her in it makes me happy

except for the terabithia or whatever shit.

pointless shit of a movie

dun get me started on twilight, 

its so stupid,

robert made edward real
real weird that is.

wtf he has this i am in pain look the whole time

and he wasnt cheeky, funny 

he was just mad mad mad 

in fact he looked like he just swallowed shit and realized he just swallowed shit.

wtf.

and what's with the songs?
rotten songs really.

except for muse but i bet its only because stephenie loves muse, and bella's lullaby is not bad

only not bad ok.

dun mind me, i am a  fan of the books

the movie, too short and fast

although i must say the color tones of the movie is perfect

and how they laid next to each other without being all sexed up is nice.

thinking of getting the host soon
for ppl who are clueless

the host is this another book by stephenie meyer 
who is btw the author of the twilight series.

go kill urself if your a fan of twilight and yet didnt know that

yes i am in a rotten mood

bite me.

time is moving too slow 

i think i need a hug :(

edit:
 

wishlist:

1.pink floyd converse

2.100 bucks to go crazy at fos for their cheap tees .

3.50 bucks to go nuts at bundles

4. 79 bucks for that bag i nampak kat hujung she store at sg wang

i need moneyyyy$$$$$.

and a hug.

i miss those days where i feel a constant urge to do this thing
i used to not have whatsoever reason to do it
but always wanted to and would always do it.

now that i have all the reasons in the world to do it
i don't
reasons of why i shouldn't pops up
funny how life works.

not that anyone ever cares if i don't
yeah. no one cares.

i went with haida last night.
we just went to random places
like shah alam, klang then to kelana then ikea

we sat down for ice cream at ikea
and just started bursting out in laughter like mad fools
taking funny pictures and just laughing
i miss those days when everything was just a laugh

now almost everyday i have to cry
the tears just come naturally
i don't even need to try.

http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/

this is an amazing site that really makes you cherish the people around you
it did for me,
hope it does for you as well.

i sent a text to my dad.
i always do,
but i just realized how it makes him so happy
when he reads
:" i love you pa, take care.".

on 5th of april
bout 10
i woke up with the worse feeling ever

fresh tears on my face

owh

right.

i texted haida and baity

i realized i need to get out

they picked me up

around noon

another sore note

its ja's birthday

owh 

right.

i was quiet the whole day

the ulcer really hurt

and i was very distracted

every few minutes 

someone touches me

looking at me with a concerned look in their eyes

babe, you ok

i heard that all day.

we went from sunway to klcc, whisked past midvalley twice,
back to puchong again,then off to pudu, then to murnis,
kota damansara then back to subang's mcds.

haha.

"you rasa banyak orang sayang kat i ke,b?"
i asked.

" banyak jess."

she said.

i lose a lot of things in life

people that i love,

trust,

friendships,

and most of all

my old self.

and tomorrow is the 7th
the d word is finalized.

having a fever is slowly killing me.

but when yesterday happened

and now , thinking bout it

i cant help but smile and go

i guess its not all that bad to be me.

thanks babes.
with you guys around i know i have something worth it 

to hold on for
love you guys very much too.

hugs :)

LOL!!

lily allen does a wicked version of it too.

morning, hope this cheers you guys up.

:D

later.