crying and blogging about it wont change a thing

so why bother?

on another note,

there are still assholes in this world
i wished there was this gigantic hole that would swallow them up whole

but then again it doesnt really matter

i mean, its not like they are in my life anymore..
right.

although i cant deny that the thought of it does make me smile.

i am going to start blogging at a different place.

as to garner proper thoughts and write only how i truly feel

a place where i wont feel the need to hide .

I AM SORRY THAT I AM SO UNBEARABLE LAH OK

its bloody unoriginal but i watch apple ads to get new songs

you gotta admit though, they sure know how to pick them

this here is one of my faves. totally awesome.

yes the song was horribly over played back then, but the colours on this one is "cosmicly orgasmic" ok.

nuff with video spamming, do let them load and check them out while you go thru your porn stash or shit or whatever.

i wished someone knew
how i really feel
but then again
i don't think i want anyone to feel
what i'm feeling

i wish people understand me
understand what i want

i always naively thought that people just wont say
things like i will miss you so much
or please don't... i need you

because they were too mushy and too couple-ish

i guess now i realized sometimes
these things never really crossed their mind

if they believed you
they would say it
if they cared enough
they would say it
if they love you..

they would say it.

but they didnt

i guess its hard to lie.
especially when its such an absurd lie.

tonight i go to sleep,
crying, beaten and broken.

tomorrow i awaken,
sore and numb.

pain that was buried,
dug out,
tugging at the scabs
pulling on new wounds..

my heart bleeds,
just like before...
just a little less now

happiness heals everything ..
as always..

hand me my little sand bucket
and i will bury these wounds deeper this time..

for making us ..
no.. you happy
is what's that keeping a smile on my face.

let me go to sleep tomorrow...
with a smile on my face.

i hate being sick

i am craving for eggs and a burger
and fries

and i'm sick.

i just wanted someone to baby me,
let me be all pissy and insecure
and whine
cause i'm sick.

obviously ,
once again, according to you,
i was out of my mind.

it made me sad, and i cried
note to self, don't cry when sick,
it makes the whole flu thing worse.

nvm. i still love you.

yes very foolish of me, but i still love you.

i'm sorry for wasting your time
i'm sorry for embracing your touch every time
i'm sorry for kissing back
i'm sorry for telling you the truth
i'm sorry you're just a friend
i'm sorry

i will miss you
your smiles, your warm hugs, your theory of "cheese everything",
your smelly ikea warm throw, your gum chewing sessions,
your feet touching mine, your hands in mine, your smell,
and your words of encouragement.

you are truly a good friend
a perfection that matched what i have mapped out in my mind,
many years ago..
to have found you
it must be that my prayers were answered
but i'm sorry .

perfection is not what i am looking for,
as
i'm content , too contented with what i have right now.

but still,
your maturity amazes me,
your strength inspires me

love you loads
:)