friends
i am not good at this.

i commit all the mistakes
and say all the wrong things.

i am cold,often depressed,
cynical and impossible..

i am a master at getting rid of people who genuinely cared about me
alienating new possible friends
ridding off possible good friendships and relationships

there is rarely a day when i get off just being happy
there is rarely a day when i can just get off without crying

my head hurts
i wish its something terminal

then maybe
i can let my friends be happy

with their happy future without my existence.

being suicidal at all time is apparently deadly
good.

• whole body sore. bloody tired.
• feeling feverish.scaring myself
• 6 subs or 5?
• feel bad or DON'T feel bad?
• need more money,need more money
• need to remember and have constant flashbacks.
• try to eat on time.
• sleep on time as well.
• get used to morning classes :(
• need a car, need a car.
• need to ignore all negative comments
• need/want to kiss him so badly.
• mucho adorableness
• going crazyyy
• ahh fluffy hair fluffy hair
• TAEMINIEEEEE.
• sigh need to stop being such an embarrasing fangirlnoona.
  
• avoid all shops. NEED to resist shopping. :(

i dont know if what i'm about to do is
the right thing
a good thing
or the best thing

but in time
from now
i will know and try to learn from it.

hope all the stress and dilemmas i will suffer from is worth it.

anyway, birthday is coming up
birthday wish?



i want these babies to appear in my size on my bed
on my birthday morning.
ok dreamer much.

:3

oh baby you make my heart break

topshop

i am having a girl crush on her .
pics from stockholmstreetstyle

there's always a reason for something that happens in life.

like there is always a reason of why i keep those messages
tearing up as i read them
deep in the night

like there is always a reason on why i say the things i say
just to mask my true feelings
my real desires
my desires to keep you away

like there is always a reason why i cant help but be sad
all the time
the guilt , the pain, the anger
it washes over all my bits of happiness

like there is

there must have been a reason

why i realized what i realized last night
in tears , lying on my bed
there must be a reason on why i MUST realized that

i guess the reason is that i have to move on.
i have to move on, cause you are already gone

as much as i want to be alone with you.