even as i sit here
recalling

of how i told her that i don't care bout you anymore
of how i don't need you anymore

i must have been a bad liar

she insists on how i still do

i tried to brush all the jealousy aside
i tried to not look at you and smile silently
i tried to resist from laughing at all your silliness
i tried to convince myself again and again


that you're not mine, and ever so impossible to ever be mine.

the tears still refuse to fall as i go through pages after pages
pangs of anger, jealousy and anger rages through
and still i grip my fists hard
trying to cry

why is it hard to fall out of love with you
when i barely know you
yet still am in awe with you
turning every flaw into perfections
accepting , loving and forgiving every part of you

oh, a tear just slipped
please just for tonight
as i silently say my goodbyes

please would you ever be so kind
hold me in your arms

as i crumble away,
knowing that you're not mine,
silently wishing i could fade into you.

this post was inspired by real life and by the song " fade into you" by mazzy star.