i have been quite happy for the last 2 nights
loads of random laughter and fit of giggles

i just needed to be reminded
a few gulps of apple juice
some random clips from high fidelity

i feel much better now






" when you love somebody
its hard to think about anything,
but to breath."
- fruit bats.

spending my Saturday in a stupid cyber cafe isn't really my idea of fun
i am trying really bad to ignore the sound of boys around squealing high pitch


makes me feel like i am sitting in a room filled with nervous virgin boys
eager to lose it

the saddest thing is
they are squealing with excitement to games

online games
god save me.

i am trying to pass the time listening to songs
watching trailers
but still I AM BORED AS FUCK.

sabar sabar sabar

i am no good at games
so it kinda defeats the purpose of me sitting her
in front of this comp
when my babymacbookie is at home
waiting for me to go online on it

i feel so out of tune here
i dont want to be a funsucker by playing the game
and ruining everyone's life

so here i am
listening to fucking boyfriend

and trying to get a life.
god, i know i said this moments before

but, please
save me

i am right behind the freaking loo
and it reeks of foul smells

i miss my itunes
i am just rambling here
cant you tell

i am trying to upload a vid
but it wont work
i am going insane
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
:(

i changed my mind
kill me lah instead. sigh

even as i sit here
recalling

of how i told her that i don't care bout you anymore
of how i don't need you anymore

i must have been a bad liar

she insists on how i still do

i tried to brush all the jealousy aside
i tried to not look at you and smile silently
i tried to resist from laughing at all your silliness
i tried to convince myself again and again


that you're not mine, and ever so impossible to ever be mine.

the tears still refuse to fall as i go through pages after pages
pangs of anger, jealousy and anger rages through
and still i grip my fists hard
trying to cry

why is it hard to fall out of love with you
when i barely know you
yet still am in awe with you
turning every flaw into perfections
accepting , loving and forgiving every part of you

oh, a tear just slipped
please just for tonight
as i silently say my goodbyes

please would you ever be so kind
hold me in your arms

as i crumble away,
knowing that you're not mine,
silently wishing i could fade into you.

this post was inspired by real life and by the song " fade into you" by mazzy star.

:)

notes to self

• don't take things too personally
• banish all fear and insecurities
• rid of people who ignites anger and negativity
  
• try not to get mad at all
• focus on smiles
• when all else fails , think of cute babies :)
• go shopping, WHERE I WANT to shop
• if no one wants to go, go alone.
• most of all, remember to have fun.

asking for too much,never a good thing

need sleep, still holding on to notes

let me go
let me off

the freaking hook.

i didn't need him, i wont need you either.

and you. enough with your accusations

i am not here for war.
don't give yourself THAT much credit.

;)

• bestie's back :)
  
• i can get used to karaoke sessions now since i can be a fan girl :D
• i love my mac i love my mac i love mac :(
• i need to retrace the steps i took
• i need to fall in love
• i need to find new bestfriends
  
• i need to get a haircut
• i need some sleep
• i need to...
  stop caring.
  
  
  gonna go bath now then sleep. nights.
  
  
  

"They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly.
Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear.
Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worse, returned.
But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection,
even if it kills them slowly within."

Sigmund Freud

been on a hiatus for too long
final ASSessments are coming in
major workload

• watched Transformers . one word = AWESOMENESS.
• went out with my fave raccoon and insane friend.fought like nobody's business.
• was a major bitch to some people,and am not apologetic for it.
• baby bro got national service :( gonna cry.
• really need a car,REALLY NEED A CAR.
• been drinking loads of water. peeing a lot too :p
  
• RIP MJ. i really love you.still in shock :((.
  
  

i loved this video so much when i was younger.
must be the dancing and the red jacket.RIP :(